April 2010
“I apologize for my morbidity, but depression is what spawns my greater writings.”
– Andy Kate
YOU
Stop smiling at me from across the room. I can’t bear to look you in the eyes these days.
Stop saying it’s cute that it takes me ten minutes to eat an orange And that I got lost in the grocery store parking lot. If your father’s friend says that you should pursue me, I don’t want to hear it next time. It may have been amusing to everyone else in the car. Just not to me.
...
Good morning, world. You are cloudier and more overcast than I would like. But it’s okay.
I’ll make this day great. I will make my own sunshine.
The things I'd like to say
Dear Mom
You have raised me since my birth. Bandaged scrapes and kissed cut fingers. Taught me your values and raised me with the best intentions.
A mother’s hope is that her children will grow In body, in spirit, in mentality. My body has grown. I can’t fit so snugly in one cradled arm anymore. My spirit has grown to contain more than I feel it should. A straining balloon filled...
I can feel the classic angst and pressure ripping between every rib, Writhing and burning inside as the deeply rooted plates shift. Day and night they tear along the fault line of my sternum, Shaking me from the pedestal of stability on which I had so firmly placed myself. This is heartbreak and failing faith. A pain I’d once heard of and even inflicted, But never did I know. This is a...
You left the room for seconds only Came back on some sort of high. I knew what you were doing. And it was obvious when the blood began to seep through the denim of your jeans. You could tell your pain to that new fucking knife. And you could let IT under your skin. But not me. You could tell me how you did it quick. And how it gives you such a rush. You laid there and shook from the adrenaline....
“Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely...”
– Oscar Wilde
“Even amidst fierce flames, the golden lotus can be planted”
