June 2010
Play
Burn
Ray LaMontagne
Burn by Ray Lamontagne
“try to ignore all this blood on the floor. it’s just this heart on my sleeve that’s bleeding”
—Ray LaMontagne <3
(3/30)
I’m really scared of frogs.
No joke.
Play
Hey Harry what have you accomplished in your life?
Oh you know just beat Voldemort when I was 11. Then his memory when I was 12. Saved my godfather when I was 13. Competed in a Triwizard Cup when I was 14 then watched my sort of friend die and witnessed the rebirth of the Dark Lord but made it out alive. Oh when I was 15 I fought Voldemort again and found out that I have a destiny and that I had to kill Voldemort if the Wizarding World were to find peace. When I was 16, I had to deal with that info and school and find Horcruxs in order to kill Voldemort and had to watch my mentor die at the hands of my enemy. 17 was a rough year too. I couldn’t return to school, Voldemort took over the Wizarding World, I chased down Horcruxs with my best friends, almost lost one, found the place where my parents died protecting me, then I broke into a bank, stole a dragon, flew to Hogwarts and lead my friends into battle against the forces of evil, losing some of them at the hands of evil wizards, then sacrificed myself so the war could end and give my friends a chance. Turns out I managed to kill the part of Voldemort in me then killed him and saved the entire world. And that was all in just a span of 7 years.
Hey Edward Cullen, you’ve been around forever. What the fuck have you done besides whine and bitch and moan?
i just thought this was awesome. I’m not the biggest Twilight hater or anything, but this is so true. I read the first Twilight book and that was enough for me.
(2/30)
Confession #2
I am an extremely loyal ‘significant other’.
But only if I feel like I really am your significant other.
I’m not the type that likes to be kept guessing.
ooOOooh…Tumblr on my MacBook Dashboard!
I’m still in bed. In my pj’s. And I’m resolving to make this day a happier one than yesterday.
It's just hit me
how intensely lonely I am.
even with so many good friends,
I still feel like nobody sees me.
Let It Begin. (1/30)
#1
I’m terrified of being alone for any extended period of conscious time.
Eating alone, going to the bar alone, doing a lot of things alone.
Hell, unconscious, too. I hate sleeping alone.
Dear Friend,
In case you were too drunk tonight to remember what I said, I thought to type it out for you.
1: I’m a non-judgmental person. You’re my friend. That quote “Only God can judge me”? Yeah. That’s how I look at people. I’m not God. I can’t judge you. And I won’t. Ever.
2: Yes. You’re dying. But it’s what happens. Everyone goes, as you said, ‘kaput’. We all die sooner or later. It’s what you do with the days you have that count. Like I said. Be a good person. That’s all you can do in the world. It’s all that needs to be done to make a positive daily impact in anyone’s life.
3: We’ve both lived beyond our years. Perhaps you should try taking a more positive view on that subject, though. It means we’ve seen some hardships. But what that does NOT mean is that we should be bitter about it. Take the experiences. Take a lesson from every one and move on.
4: This, I thought of on the drive home. Life is short. You of all people should grasp that. Why spend your days being miserable and downtrodden? To live is more than to breathe and exist. To live is to feel everything. I know you feel the sorrows in life. Why not try leaving those in the back of your mind and letting loose?
Let go of what you know. Embrace the beauty of life in its full form.
I’ll explain that ‘life in full form’ bit to you next time we have one of our talks.
OH.
5: I really will punch you if you ever call me by my first name again.
But you’re still my friend.
what do you mean you fall in love with me/things i write? people always say that to me and i dont get it.
and i think ive already answered this before. my life, other peoples lives, the world around me, big incidents, the very little things, (the little things mean the most), dreans, memories that stay stuck, everything
When I say that, I mean the depth of the writing and the way you portray things with such perfectly chosen words and metaphors. It’s captivating.
And yes, the little things do mean the most.
Feminism Doesn't Sparkle: What Twilight Teaches Young Girls →
amplifyyourvoice.org
Four years ago, a novel about a sparkly vampire and the girl who loves him took the world by storm. It has been hailed as an achievement for feminism, a step forward, a new page in the fight. A female writer, a female protagonist, a female director for the eventual movie deal. This is what would make it click for young girls seeking a purpose and a fight.
The book, of course, was the first in the Twilight Saga. When I tell people that I’m an English Lit major, most of them automatically say, “Ooo, have you read Twilight?” Because I’m a nineteen-year-old girl, and all nineteen-year-old girls like the same things, 100% of the people who ask are not just shocked, but completely perplexed when I politely respond, “Yes, I read it. And I hated it.”
Usually, when a “WHY?!” is demanded after that exchange, I simply say I prefer wizards to vampires, but the truth is much more complicated. Twilight, and the acclaimed author, Stephanie Meyer, are not exactly what they appear to be.
There are some things I don’t like about the Twilight Saga because I love reading (purple prose, dragging plot, clichéd dialogue). But I’ve found seven very good reasons why every feminist should not just hate Twilight, but run from it like the Ann Coulter of literature.Reason 1- Bella is adored by everyone, especially her father, for whom she cooks and cleans for while he cleans his gun and drinks a beer. Bella is hardly a realistic heroine. She’s not flawed, unless you count clumsiness, and everyone adores her, despite her rather obnoxious perfection.To many people- and by “people”, I mean “men”- Bella is ideal. She’s polite, kind, quiet, cooks, and cleans. She’s like a beautiful 1950s housewife-robot without all those icky character flaws and unnecessary conversations!
Let’s look at these stereotypes, too. Bella cooks, she cleans. Her father is a terrible cook who would rather watch sports while cleaning his gum and drinking a beer than help his daughter with a few chores. Early on in the series, Stephanie Meyer makes it pretty damn clear that Bella belongs in the kitchen.
Reason 2- Edward breaks into Bella’s home and watches her sleep before introducing himself even once. I’d like to reference Jessica Valenti for the six-millionth time in my life. In her fantastic book, “He’s a Stud, She’s a Slut,” Valenti discusses in one chapter how men are seen as romantic and women are seen as stalkers. I’ve seen this response to Edward’s behavior a number of time. What he does is just soooo romantic!
Let’s pretend Bella followed Edward home. She waited outside his window until she was sure he was asleep before quietly sneaking in and watching him sleep. And keep in mind- they have yet to exchange any words. How would most people view her actions? Really freaking weird, right?
We should see Edward’s behavior the same way. Edward isn’t being romantic, he’s being creepy- really creepy. Glorifying this kind of behavior isn’t just ridiculous, it’s dangerous. We should be keeping girls safe- not teaching them that obsessive behavior is not just acceptable, but desired.
Reason 3- In book two, Bella falls apart when Edward leaves. She begins recovery when she starts spending time with Jacob. This one is anti-feminism 101, folks. Bella needs a man in her life. She can’t function without one. It’s exactly that simple. That will be the first message I teach my daughters. How about you?
Reason 4- Edward frequently dictates whom Bella may be friends with and encourages his family to spy on her and prevent her from disobeying his wishes. Has anyone else ever read those terribly disheartening stories about girls with abusive boyfriends printed in every teen magazine ever created? They like to include lists of signs of potential abusive boyfriends to make sure we prevent these things. One of the first things on the list? He tries to control every aspect of your life, including with whom you can be friends and with whom you can hang out. But Edward just wants to protect her, girls say. He cares about her.
Oh, really? Well, let’s move on to Fact 5 before we finish this discussion.
Reason 5- Edward withholds sex in order to get what he wants. He succeeds. All Edward wants is a wife. All Bella wants is sex.Contrary to what Edward believes, there’s nothing wrong with that.Bella is not some delicate flower that can be sullied or dirtied. While it’s definitely debatable, I know a good many of us don’t see much merit in purity. Women and men should be respected and loved for their actions, but whether or not they’ve had sex. You see, Bella can make her own decisions. From when she has sex, to whom she hangs out with- Bella should have control over her life and her choices. When she’s with Edward? He has the control.
Reason 6- While Edward encourages Bella to have hopes and dreams, Bella would much rather cook and clean and care for their family, and whatever else vampire housewives do. And here is the real genius in Stephanie Meyer’s plan. Most of us know Mrs. Meyer is a conservative Mormon who enjoys promoting abstinence in her spare time. Did you know she also promotes the idea that all women really want is to stay home and cook and clean?
In the Twilight Saga, Edward doesn’t push Bella to stay home with him and care for his every whim. He pushes her to do many things, but not that. No, he encourages her to get an education and have a life. But Bella, Bella, is the one who wants nothing more than to stay home and care for their (eventual) daughter and her adoring husband.
Let me be perfectly clear here. There is nothing wrong with stay-at-home moms. There is nothing wrong with women who want to have families and to be the one to care for them. But there is something wrong when Bella doesn’t want to work outside the home, when Bella’s mother doesn’t work, when Esme doesn’t work, when literally none of the women in Twilight work outside of the home.
No, there is nothing wrong with wanting to care for your family. There is everything wrong with telling young girls that that is their only option. Meyer has said in interviews that feminism is about choice and that makes Twilight feminist literature. Meyer fails to realize that she has the control over her characters. She could have made Bella desire more in life than love, but she doesn’t. Finally…
Reason 7- Edward truly loves Bella. Here is what we learn from Twilight. Women should want to cook and clean, and stay in the home, forsaking education for family. Women must expect men to invade their privacy and, what’s more, they must desire this. Women should accept that they are incapable of making even small decisions in their own lives and they must, instead, submit to the will of a man. Women must understand they are worthless without a man. Women must understand they are nothing without a man. Women must understand they will never with anything without a man. Women must believe these things are done out of love.
If Reasons 1-6 don’t strike you as a big deal, Reason 7 should be a red alarm. Stephanie Meyer claims her book promotes feminism because it all centers on Bella’s choices. When I look at Twilight, I see a list of things I will never teach my children. I see a list of warning signs for unhealthy relationships. I see a detailed description of a severely sexist worldview. I love love. I think love is wonderful, but Twilight is not love, Twilight is not about healthy, equal relationships. Love is about equality. About partnerships. About trust.
When held up to the light, Twilight doesn’t sparkle. Not one bit.
Two days ago, the brother I virtually raised myself got his driver’s permit.
Today, my sister graduated from high school.
I feel so so old all of a sudden.
When my last sibling hits the graduation mark, I’m going to have a problem.
I don’t care for being the oldest.
#4
I’ve realized my attachment to you.
Now I’m worried what I’ll be when we merge and you eventually pull away, like the others, leaving nothing but a copy of some trait that was yours. Left on my skin like a wound worn proudly by someone who doesn’t comprehend the damage done to the nerves beneath.
With #1 it was cigarettes. An addiction with which still beats at me to this day.
Each one reminding me of him. Thin. Pale. Fragile.
I still worry. That’s why I keep in touch.
With #2 it was booze. He was built like a handle of Skyy.
Tall, dark, hard. As cold as the frost on the blue glass and as hot as the moment the voka goes down.
Passion and anger and a sudden end. A flare, a fizzle, a death.
I wish he’d speak to me, though I know I don’t deserve it.
#3 I fight the things I gained from you.
Not because I don’t want to remember you, but because you just haven’t got a clue about getting out of slumps. The only things I’ve gladly taken that you left behind are your friends, your old room, and a love for Bob Marley. But you really should come back and visit. Because we do miss you.
Dear #4.
Please. I’m begging you.
Give me something deeper to stick around for. I know it’s there.
“I want to create something beautiful today.”
—
Imagine this.
Growing up in a house where mother and father are always around.
In a house where everybody’s in somebody else’s personal space, not because they’re crammed quietly into a car together, but because they choose to be literally close to the other family members.
Where the only loud moments in the house are of people laughing or the volume is up a bit too high.
Where you have felt perfectly comfortable living for 19 years.
Now imagine
Moving into a house where you barely know a thing about anyone, even when you’ve known them all of your life or all of theirs.
Imagine this new family doesn’t talk much to you or to each other.
They don’t display much physical contact at all with each other and spend the majority of their time at home seeming to avoid the other family members.
The father spends hours at a time in the woods or in the basement.
The mother has an odd work schedule and spends the time home watching television or carrying a large burden of laundry.
One sister’s mood is about as predictable as a black hole
And the other sister divides all time between television and computer games.
Everyone is in their own little world.
And I had to make my own. Just not in a house where I don’t feel that I belong.
I need physical contact with people, I need people to actually speak with me, not at me or so reservedly.
Try living with people you were just kind of grafted into a family with.
A family unit where it seems that nobody likes anyone else in the home.
Four people who don’t communicate but just happen to live together.
I did this before, too, though.
So it’s just that I’m uncomfortable in such a cold house and that it’s also just a habit.
Play
“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect. You aren’t either. And the two of you may never be perfect together. But if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human, and making mistakes; hold onto her, and give her the most you can.”
— Bob Marley (via trendsandmakebelieve)
Human Race to be extinct in 100 years →
redorbit.com
A professor of microbiology at the Australian National University believes that humans will become extinct in the next hundred years.
Fran Fennner, who helped eradicate smallpox, believes “It’s an irreversible situation. I think it’s too late.”
He says the real problem is increasing population and “unbridled consumption” and he doesn’t think we’ll curb greenhouse gas emissions either.
“Quiet! America’s Got Talent is on.”
everything dies, all things break.
wow. how anthropocentric am i that i really thought, humans would be around for a couple of thousand years.
This is about the 50th study I’ve read that predicts this. I’m kind of glad I won’t be around to see whether their predictions come to pass or not.
12 Monkeys
Man From Earth
= most intellectually stimulating film I have ever seen.
watch when stoned.
Play
In all reality.
Honestly,I’m not that awesome a person.
Truthfully, I’m painfully average.
Seriously, I’m doing the best I can.
And it’s all we ever can do.
spinning fire
encircled in curves of trailing, burning fluid.
warmth and energy in any weather.
I can’t wait to light this world up.
Don't hassle me.
If you want to see me so badly, then get in the car and drive the two or three hours. You don’t work, you don’t have any excuse not to.
I, however, have a job. It doesn’t pay enough to make a trip out there and back.
Last time I went to see you, you messed it up big time and I was miserable.
You live with your loud, racist boyfriend and his racist, ancient mother.
Guess you didn’t bother to tell them your “favorite” oldest granddaughter is part black.
You don’t call your kids, their wives don’t care for you, and the two of your eight grandchildren who are old enough to see through your overly-sweet sugar coating realize that you’re just take, take, take and gossip, gossip, gossip.
Spinning your opinions into fabricated stories to turn nieces against aunts and daughters-in law against each other.
And it never works.
You’re turning 65, Gram.
Grow. Up.
