The kitty is home.
And currently observing everything in my apartment from under the futon…
Butt Dials and Booty Calls
tastewithyourfingers: When the time-traveler emerged into the distant future He was hailed as the expert of ancient Earth. He had to explain that the concepts of “butt dials” and “booty calls” were not, in fact one and the same
I CAN GET MY CAT TOMORROW
I CAN GET MY CAT TOMORROW I CAN GET MY CAT TOMORROW I CAN GET MY CAT TOMORROW I CAN GET MY CAT TOMORROW holy fuck I’m excited
My life was weird today. SO MUCH WEIIIRRRRDDD
I don't own my child's body →
ebemusedlybespectacled: (CNN) — My daughter occasionally goes on a hugging and kissing strike. She’s 4. Her parents could get a hug or a kiss, but many people who know her cannot, at least right now. And I won’t make her. “I would like you to hug Grandma, but I won’t make you do it,” I told her recently. “I don’t have to?” she asked, cuddling up to me at bedtime, confirming the facts to be...
A man: I want happiness.
Buddha: First remove "I", that's ego, then remove "want", that's desire. See? Now you are left with happiness.
Anonymous asked: I would date you so hard.
I just found out an old friend of mine lost her baby boy Kendrick 24 weeks into the pregnancy. If you believe in karma, vibes, deities, whatever, I’d appreciate if you could just send good feelings to Mallory and her husband Nate and their son Zane.
My friend, here, snores like an angry moose.
I just had to tell someone.
teacher: if you have 10 chocolate cakes and someone asks for 2, how many do you have left?
teacher: okay, well what if somebody forcibly takes two of the cakes, how many would you have left then?
me: 10 and a dead body.